Beneath the sheets lies your love,
Forever far from me.
Out of sight and out of mind,
Beneath a fabric sea.

Be like the flowing river,
Silent in the night;
Rage against your demons
And the fading of the light.
Sometimes words won't help you,
And sometimes they really do.
But your silence is an answer
To which you must be true.
Be like the endless night time,
Whispering in the dark;
And be like the scattered lightning
That shines inside your heart.
Be like the yearning lover
Who knows not where to go;
But above all else, just be yourself:
You're stronger than you know.

Oh, directionless darling
How you yell your pain
from the mountain
you've climbed
alone
and wonder why
no one
has answered.

I see you there behind the light
And wonder if you know,
That there are all these melodies
And dreams that help you grow.
If you could see how time goes on,
How fast the waters flow,
You would love with all you have
And love yourself more so.

Between him and I,
There is a wait
For all the world to see.
​
I reach to him
With open arms,
But he doesn't reach for me.
​
I wish that time
Could pull him close
And push us out to sea.
​
But I stand alone
Upon the shore—
It wasn't meant to be.

Your garden's filled
with flowers
And seeds that you must sow;
It is there your scarred
and broken heart
Must die and then regrow.

You were the land,
And I was the sea.
I washed myself upon your shores,
But you would simply be.
You always longed for something more,
The clouds, the sun, the sky,
And despite my never knowing why,
You never longed for me.

Oh, such pale and cold despair;
Such white and deathly glow.
There that sickly rose lies faint
Upon the Winter snow.
​
Such placid petals tinged by fire
That freeze in Winter's chill.
Bruised and broken, torn and shaken,
There the rose lies still.
​
"Worry not," say liars firm,
"It's all inside your head."
But they take flight into the night
And leave the rose for dead.
​
Reaching up towards the sky,
Its crimson colour fades.
There the sickly rose lies lost
And prays for warmth of day.
​
Alas, the rose grows colder still,
And does not make a sound.
For there that sickly rose lies dead
Upon the Winter ground.

The ocean sits in darkened thought
With sleeping sky so far,
But I look up and I look out
And wish on shooting stars.

You were always on my mind
Like freshly fallen snow;
But much like winter,
I had to leave
And had to let you go.

Although we drift so far apart
While we change and live and grow,
Not a single day passes us by
When I don't love you so.
​
But time has taken hold of you
And your heart so long ago—
​
My world is lost of colour now
And the biggest love I know.

Willful darling, can't you see?
Of all the things that you can be—
Strong and wise and filled with glee,
You must choose to first be free.
​
Free of all the pain you know,
Of all the hurt, I plea.
​
Willful darling, you should grow
Beyond this life you see.

What an
absolute
mess I have
made of my
life. All with
the idea
that I am
not enough.

There is such little
revelry that could
every compare
to the innocence
of a childhood.

Maybe we will meet once more
And love will flow again.
For I know you never lied
About the love you had back then.
​
I know that all I've done before
Has turned your heart to stone.
And I know for all it's worth right now
You want to be alone.
​
But I feel that time will help us out
And one day you will see,
My heart will stay with you forever
And yours it will always be.
​
I hope your heart can love me again,
I wish this to be true.
Because however time may take us now,
I'll only think of you.

But darling, I would've waited up
for you,
If only to watch you wake
to the rising sun
on your face.

I could not stand
to see the shift of time
without you.

Do you remember that day,
my love?
When we were stars
colliding in a small coffee shop,
light breaching the dark
as I took your hand
and said,
”Your eyes are so beautiful.”

Do you remember that day,
my love?
Please.
Tell me you do.

Wait for it.
As much as you can.
Wait.
For the falling feather of freedom
That comes after your
Grief has taken flight.
For the wonder and wild water
That drowns out your pain
And gives you strength and might.
Wait as much as you can
For the stolen starlight
That comes in your dreams
And makes you feel as one again.
You may not feel it now,
But wait for it.
As much as you can.
Wait.

My soul, it floats upon a starlit sea,
Under banners of black and gold.
It wrestles with the ocean's breeze
And stories I have told.
The sea and cold are both fond friends
That nestle in my bones.
But the blackened sea on which I rest
Will one day take me home.

But that is not the end.
There is never an end.
​
We may die,
But there is still
Every word
We leave behind.

Exhaustion is but a weary friend
Holding me and pulling me
Toward something
Or nothing.
There is the voice inside my heart
And my mind,
Speaking lies—
A verisimilitude
That makes me believe
I am not enough.
A stranger who sees me
Is a stranger who hates me.
I am nothing
Without their consent.
But I need to be reminded
In winding ways that twist
Like the roots of a tree:
I am not measured
By how people react to me.

It is a melancholic longing I feel,
Rattling the cage of bones
Surrounding my heart.
It is a string tied taut
Around my soul,
And it pulls me
Toward where you are,
So far from me.
The time ticks so tantalisingly
Toward our moment
Or renewed meeting,
And I hope the rattling cage
Will ease
And I can freely breathe
Once more.
The string tightens
And my heartbeat quickens,
But you are still not here.
When you return,
Will this longing melancholy stay,
Or can I hope for your kiss
And touch
To satiate that pain.
Come back
So I can feel the rattling of the cage
Fade away.

The open window pulls in the storm
of long-forgotten memories,
lightning piercing my dreams
and forking through each letter
written and sent.
I wish I could rain you out
of every thought,
let the river sweep each written word away.
But I let the water stain the carpet
beneath the open window,
and I trust that come morning light,
the sky won't be grey.

i carved your name
under the bridge
that led on towards the ocean.
such tragedy
and such clarity
to think
that the concrete
could bear your name
when my heart
could no longer
do the same.

Not all stars belong to the sky,
Which is why they sometimes fall.

We are what we choose,
The people that we let stay,
The things that we keep.

I wander on through greenest grass,
Through patches here and there of light;
And think how lovely it would be
To catch you once again in sight.

I used to wonder
At all you'd said,
How love could fall
Like dying leaves.
And every night,
As I lie in bed,
I think of all
That could have been.
I wonder now
If you were here,
What we'd say
'Til morning breaks.
I know I'd confess
My love, my dear,
And give all that
My heart could take.
But you are much
Too far away;
My words will never
Reach your ears.
So I will think
Of you each day,
And smile
Despite my falling tears.

I recall those days like wild waters
That ebb and flow with time;
And as they fall between my fingers,
I recall that you're not mine.
​
I rise each day and fall again
With tides that drag me deep;
And when the evening waters call,
I hope that I can sleep.
​
But all those days return to me
Like waves upon the shore;
And I can't help but weep and wish
That I had loved you more.

Always know that
what you've done
has been well worth
the life you've lived.

I waste these empty moments
With books and worthless things,
Trying not to think of you
With all the hurt it brings.
Your voice has all but left me
Yet the memories remain,
And it takes every part of me
To try be calm and sane.
I wonder if you loved me
And I wonder if you cared;
And would you want to see me
If I asked you, if I dared.
There are no answers here right now
And these moments still fall through,
When nothing else distracts me
And I only think of you.
I hope that we can laugh one day
At the love we both once had;
I hope that I will find you happy
Despite that I'm so sad.
These empty moments pass me by
Through books and pointless stuff,
To draw my mind away from you
And feel that I'm enough.
You are the one I wished would stay,
The first one and the last;
But I will take the road before me
And leave you in the past.
I love you, yes, that much is true
And you're always on my mind.
But despite these empty moments,
I have my heart to find.

These nights,
insomnia is a game
that has me fighting
my demons
at four in the morning.

The sky reminded me
of him:
as blue and as cold
as his eyes
on the day he left me.

I lost myself in losing you
And found a broken heart,
And in the losing I could find
A new love worth a start.
It goes to show how deep I thought
That we would never part,
And yet the losing and the finding
Healed my broken heart.

Despite the wounded words we whisper,
Despite the depths that call—
We have a thousand lives worth living
Despite how far we fall.

Do you see it up there?
The light
As it falls like snow
On the smallest things
That grow.
Do you see it up there?
Your dreams
Refracted in broken sunlight
Reminding you to carry on,
To stand up
And fight.
Do you see it up there?
I know I do.
I have witnessed starlight
Glinting in endless night.
Moonlight showered
On ocean waters bright.
Do you see it up there?
I know I do.
And I hope that one day
You'll see it too.

They ask me
about love and,
for the first time,
I don't think about you—
I think about me.

I pine for you, my precious love. Like pale and placid petals that pour in patterns from roses and daisies small, my heart plays its melody in potent ways and does nothing but fall.

Fall. Ever deeper in love. I pine and fall.

Paint my ecstatic thoughts
Of red and gold that clash
In daylight’s breaking.
Paint me in these silent words
In the moments where
Ocean waters rain down
On the forests of my eyes.
Paint me without your love
And without your heart.
Dry these tears
And this colour
With your mind.
Teach me what it means
To be finite
On the pages
And the canvas of your lies.
Paint me so I may be gone
And given to someone else
To be viewed by different eyes.

You cannot pick and love
a flower,
expecting it to
love you back.

I plant flowers in concrete
and write characters who are alone,
And then I always wonder
why nothing ever grows.

Remember my heart, young love,
When all my deeds have gone
And my ashes float
Down a mountain breeze.
Remember my heart, young love,
When people doubt
Who I was
And argue about what
I tried to become.
Remember my heart,
Of all its loving
And all its breaking.
Remember how it took the pain
And poured out words,
Staining souls with ink
Until my last breath.
Remember my heart, young love,
When you feel lost.
Know that I was there
In that place
With a fire in my chest.
Remember my heart, young love,
For it will be the last of me
To rest.

What do you whisper, my love,
To the dark
When I am not around?
The oceanic words
You crash upon the shores
Of your heart
That make you love me so.
What words do you use to describe
Your effervescent light
That shines inside the water deep—
The monsters
Crawling underneath your skin.
What do you whisper of me, my love,
Before the waves plunge through
Your sleep
And you wake to me not there?
What words do you find?
What words do you speak?
The anchors you latch
To your feet that make you sink
Are fickle and flawed.
But not like you.
Know that I am there,
In the salt of your tears
And the breeze—
Across the sea of your despair,
So vast,
Your heart stays with me.

I miss you in every single second,
More than words can say.
Memories come and go so oft
Like snow that drifts away.
I piece myself together
Every single day,
And yet my stitches come undone
At the mention of your name.

And that morning came
So recent
And without my ever knowing it
But I feel it was real
And I know it was true.
When I woke up in daylight
And didn’t feel blue.
That morning was
The first time
I didn’t think of you.

What is our innate love,
if not a series
of human
connections?

Always know that
what you've done
has been well worth
the life you've lived.

I wonder if we say
that things
happen for a reason
because we believe it
or because
deep down
we’re looking for one.

Today it hit me
That you are gone.
And today I realised
That you've moved on.
I can't seem to remember
Where it all went wrong.
But I know today I missed you,
And I'm trying to be strong.

A rainbow pours
Across the horizon,
And now I know
The storm
Has gone.

Move on.
And up.
Run, run, run.
And don't look back,
At the pain
And the boy
That took your heart away.
Let your fingers roam
Through building cracks
And across piano keys
That you've always longed to play.
Letters stuffed in post boxes
Of foreign cities
That you've always longed to see,
Moving on.
And up.
Live, live, live.
And don't look back.
At all the hurt you've been done.
At the one whose blue eyes caressed your skin
Every morning.
Don't look back.
Let your lips cherish
The taste of snow on the mountainside
And the warmth of the sun
Through stained glass windows
Of church-bound spires.
But don't look back.
Because it is where he is
And it is there where you should leave him.
And despite the pain it still does to you,
There are more fires
To touch,
More hearts
To rekindle,
More sadness
To burn out.
So my dear,
For your own heart's sake,
Don't
look
back.

And when Icarus fell
from the heavens,
even the gods thought
he was beautiful.

strangers
can
care.

And we were nothing more
than angels
whose wings had been
clipped.
But still, we longed
for the wind in our hair
and knew that one day
we'd return
to the air.

Come fly above the clouds with me
On wings of black and green,
Where wind meets skin and sun and sky
To take us where we've been.

Of all the times you loved me so
And every time between,
I wish it now
I wish it more
I wish it were still me.

I'm a puppet to your string,
Dancing next to everything;
And though I may not feel at all—
When you cut your strings, I fall.

I see you there behind the light
And wonder if you know,
That there are all these melodies
And dreams that help you grow.
If you could see how time goes on,
How fast the waters flow—
You would love with all you have,
And love yourself more so.

There are small things I've forgotten
That I'll never know again—
The smell of childhood wonder,
Or small kisses in the rain.
People come and off they go
Despite all of my trying;
We part our ways, strangers again,
Oftentimes left crying.
There are small things I've forgotten,
Like the love I feel inside—
The beauty deep within myself
That I have tried to hide.
But today I will remember
All I am and all I give;
Despite the pain I feel from loss,
Today I'm going to live.

Wake me up
When the starlight
Returns to your skin,
When you are with me
Once more
Outside my dreams
And I can taste
Your cosmos
On my lips.

Sometimes he was the sun to me
And other times the moon,
Despite how warm or cold he was,
He lit up every room.
I wish I could change the way things are
And make him feel my love,
But the moon and sun are far away,
Hanging still above.
The stars may dance around him now
And the world may spin through time,
But I will think of him each day
Without reason or rhyme.
I guess, in time, the world will die
And the stars will fall and fade;
But the sun and moon will shine on still
Upon the love we made.

Maybe it has left you,
I pray to God it has:
The pain so deep inside you
That ruined all your plans.
You used to be so happy
With sunlight in your eyes,
But then he took it from you
With surreptitious lies.
His hands that once were loving,
Grew dark with malice still.
He turned that rage upon you
And bent you to his will.
But darling you have suffered
In far too many ways,
And I know that there are countless
Who have love to give in spades.
They can offer glory,
And they can offer joy.
You shouldn’t let his anger
Leave your heart destroyed.
Although your soul is broken,
Your voice still yearns to shout.
And through the cracks within you,
Your sunlight still peeks out.

you
will
not
have
my
hatred.

I used to wonder at all the things
That make my heart tick on,
The feelings and the energies
That make my mind seem wrong.
The logic and the finite thoughts
That tell me I will fail,
All of them like beating drums
That pound beneath life's veil.
But minds weren't made for love and loss,
For hearts are where they're felt;
And even if the cards seem bad,
We work with what we're dealt.
There are so many weights within
That draw our minds down deep,
But we have so far left to walk
And promises to keep.
So don't despair at all your hurt
And don't think it's the end.
For even if the road seems dark,
There's light around the bend.

And once his lips so soft met mine,
The earth refused to budge.
And I knew
So sadly
That the time spent pining
The time spent yearning
Left me in wastelands
Abandoned fields
That I now trudge.
How can one long for something so dear,
Then have it lost and replaced with fear?
I knew
So badly
That I had lost him
And it ached because I never had him.
But no matter how much our lips would touch,
There'd be nothing left for us to prove.
For though we try our very best,
The earth will still refuse to move.

I piece myself together
While you are here with me,
A garden full of flowers
Growing over the weeds
Of all I used to be.
​
A creeping vine ensnares my soul
And binds me close to you,
And part of all I am
Forgets its pains,
The falsities once held true.
​
A divided design and broken heart:
Such things that kept me blue,
But dwindled hope
That seeds with flowers
Can also give love too.
​
There are places in this wilderness
And places we can't see,
Where our hearts can bloom
In tandem, and grow
To what we're meant to be.

I thought it be mishap, perchance:
This lily love of mine;
A fire inkling, burning bright
And brazen ‘cross the line.
Yet thine is but a step so dear,
And winter wonder white—
For conquered is mine heart by yours;
Oh, what a lovely sight.

Yesterday, the moon fell asleep on the clouds,
and today only the sun could wake it.